kingdom love

[orig. written june 15, 2010]

intended for spoken performance with two voices (every other stanza)

you are my God

the King majestic

enthroned in the incomprehensible

pillars of fire

and billows of smoke

i stand before your awesome power

in terror

i fall to my knees,

i shield my eyes

i curl up, i tremble, i am silenced,

i am humbled before--

you... lead the most powerful armies

heading the charge

and they bow to you

they obey you

with the utmost respect and deference

of which you are so worthy.

all that i know and see is but a thought in your head,

i am so small...

you have created my entire world with mere words

in the palms of your hands

in but a few days

yet so carefully and thoughtfully...

you have created my life with your breath

yet with such compassion...

i am a masterpiece.

i am good and i am beautiful.

you have created

with...

your voice- is so powerful

that i might die

when you speak it is so intense

that four words might rip apart nothingness

and create

something-

let

there

be

light my way, Lord

for you are my guide,

your lamp shines upon each step i am to take as i quake in the dark.

sure and faithful

never lost, never losing me

you have your own plans,

but you know them

so surely

a sure path, straight, narrow, narrowing

i follow, my guide, my light.

the shadows close in but your flame shines

ever brighter

and it dances

and it sets my heart on fire

beating rapidly like butterflies wings

passionately like impressionist painters lost in the storms of emotions and uncertainty.

the King...

...of the universe

is pursuing me.

he loves me

he chases me

he woos me

he charms me...

my freshly unbrokenheart racing in romance--

you make me feel like a queen-- or a princess,

the apple of your eye,

i am most beautiful and most beloved

an adored and known cinderella...

and we are more intimate than anything hollywood can sell

you hold me close

enfold me in your arms,

i lean against your chest and i can hear your heart beat

smell your presence, comfy, close...

your words fill my mouth - the most desperate and beautiful and heart wrenching kiss

and i am so close to you

you know me

deeply

you love me

more than i could ever know or understand

and i am falling

falling

falling in love...

...with my best friend,

who teases me until i laugh,

who knows my quirks,

you humor me, make humor of me, until i have to smile.

my best bud,

who lets me dream the impossible and encourages me to try to fly and when i cry,

there are hugs

as you grieve with me and hurt with me and weep with me...

of the love languages, you're fluent in all five.

you give the best gifts,

miles of sky and gazillions of flowers

and we always have the most quality time,

because you never leave my side

you tell me what i can't see in myself

and bring out the best

and you serve, you serve,

you serve...

until by death you save you save and you are my HERO.

i was drowning and you dragged me above the surface,

i was suffocating and you gave me fresh air

i was in chains and you shattered them

i was in a cage and you melted the bars

you found me and set me free.

i was in sin, hiding my face,

and you bore God's forsakenness on my behalf

superhuman pain and profound suffering

the tragic beauty of heroic sacrifice

you saved the world in a way even comic books couldn't imagine,

you're redeeming the brokenness,

bridging the breaks,

washing me,

purifying me...

and you are teaching me to be whole

growing me like a tendershoot in the ground

feeding me, watering me, conversing with me

your words are my textbooks

your saints are my tutors

and you love when i count and underline and take notes in the margins and ask

the hard questions

and when they are the wrong questions

you give the right answers to better questions

like the best teacher,

most knowledgeable

most patient

you let me discover the truth myself,

you give me spaces to grow, to flourish, to be rooted,

you root for me

you let me explore

and talk

and make mistakes

but you give out grace like extensions like water

and your textbooks are always free.

all of creation is what we study

your heart and your mind

and i never grow out of learning about you

i never graduate

i will never find myself knowing more than...

you are my leader

my shepherd

i would vote for you in any election

campaign for you as president

trust your laws as legislator

respect you as head of state

support your verdicts as judge

because your justice sees more than rights and fairness

you defend the oppressed

you destroy the system

but you love us all

your authority is unconquerably powerful

and recklessly compassionate

the liberty you fight for is true freedom from everything

give me liberty or give me death... death...

give me liberty from this death

from this brokenness

in my sickness you

heal me, Lord

wholeness drips from you like water

wellness overflows from you

pain and injury

distress and depression

as tears become seams,

speak them from me, Lord

a mere word, a mere touch

and i am whole,

a precious child brought before her father

father

father

i run to you

to share my delights

to cry and then forget why

my scraped knees and curiosities

my broken hearts and busted parts and my total wonder

you give small advice

you provide when i'm not watching

you love me

unconditionally

father

father

our father

above all things

your name is holy

kingdom come, your will be done

here and in heaven, now and to come

forgive us,

and let us always be forgiving and seeking forgiveness

sustain us,

help us to trust your provision;

you know what we need

before we speak;

protect us

from temptation

from evil

from brokenness

you rule above all

in your unfathomable power

all glory be yours now and evermore.

amen.